How to Feel Excited About Your Business (and life) Again w/Denise Walsh

Ever feel like you're checking all the boxes, getting things done and still somehow falling further behind?

If the excitement you used to feel about your business has been replaced by pressure, obligations and an endless to-do list, you're not alone.

In this episode, I sit down with clinical psychologist and Dream Life Coach Denise Walsh to talk about why so many women entrepreneurs feel overwhelmed, depleted, and disconnected from the things that once excited them - and what to do about it.

Denise shares her Dream Life Pathway, a simple framework that helps you identify what you truly want, believe it's possible, and take meaningful action toward it. 

We also explore:

• How misalignment, unrealistic expectations and "energy drainers" contribute to overwhelm and emotional exhaustion
• Creating space and increasing capacity by prioritizing, simplifying and letting go
• Practical ways to create more energy, joy and gratitude instead of constantly chasing the next goal
• How rest and recovery can actually improve performance, creativity and business results

Whether you're feeling overwhelmed, lacking motivation, or simply wondering why success doesn't feel the way you thought it would, this conversation offers practical tools to help you reconnect with yourself and move forward with greater clarity and intention.

Links & References:

Come network with us! CLICK HERE to attend your first PWR Connection Network virtual speed networking event at no cost using the promo code  FIRSTTIME

Get Denise's free Dream Board Brainstorming Kit: https://dreamboardkit.denisewalsh.com/

Connect with Denise on Facebook 

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Denise Walsh

0:02

Hello, Denise. Welcome to the Powerful Women Rising podcast. Thank you so much for being here, for inviting me. I'm glad to be here. Yes, I'm so excited to chat with you. Tell us a little bit about you and about what you do before we dive into our conversation. All right. Well, currently I am a dream life coach and I support clients in overcoming self-sabotage, really getting out of that place of stuckness and creating a life that they love. And I also certify coaches in my methodology so they can do the same thing. That's awesome. Tell us a little bit about your methodology and what makes it different than maybe like something that we've seen with other coaches. Yeah, absolutely. Um, I have a background in clinical psychology and have worked in the mental health world for a long time. And so I feel like my methodology weaves in some of the traditional therapeutic modalities, cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, some of that stuff is kind of woven in. But it's truly focused not on why am I the way that I am, but who do I want to be now? In working with people, I mean, and specifically I'm thinking those in my trauma groups. Uh, there's a lot of a lot of talk about what happened. And at some point, like that's really

The Dream Life Pathway Explained

1:18

important to bring the darkness to light. But at some point we do have to say what's next. And so my programs are really about creating that version of you that you want to see next, really focusing in on what you want life to be. So I have what I call the dream life pathway: head, heart, feet. Do you know what you want? Do you believe it's possible? And do you know how to go get it? And then there's a ton of different exercises to help you gain clarity, relight your spark, and actually take action. That's awesome. I love that. And it's so applicable, I think, to business too, because it's so I feel like we're not the times that the head, the heart, and the feet are all aligned. I wish it happened more frequently. That's when the magic happens. Yes. Yes, absolutely. So I want to ask you some questions today. It's funny, the three interviews that I had back to back today are all like, I feel like for me personally, the qu the conversations that I needed to be having today. And they're all so different too. Like I started out talking about meta ads and now we're talking about burnout, but clearly I needed to hear about both of them. So I would love to hear from you kind of what you see with your clients, whether they're business owners or moms or whatever they are. We all experience burnout

Why Burnout Hits Women Hard

2:30

in similar ways. But what are some of the reasons that you see that happening most commonly, especially with women? Yeah, absolutely. I work with a lot of business owners too. And a lot of times people will say, I want to change my life, but that's really hard. I'm gonna go back to what I know and I'm gonna stay where I am. Um, and so I do work with a lot of people who want life to be different, but it feels so overwhelming and so like such a mountain that they really don't even know where to start. And so whether you're a mom, a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, a business owner, a work-from-home mom, all of the things, I think that it really applies to all of it. Burnout, I find happens when you're number one, like out of alignment. You know, you're doing things you don't want to do all the time. Like that can grate on your soul and you come home from whatever your day looks like, and you're just like, I'm exhausted. And what I what I hope for people is that what they're doing gives them life. You know, yes, you may be physically tired. Yes, we need to recharge, but when what you're doing, you know, sucks the soul out of you, that's a time to have a conversation. The other thing that I find is that people literally have too much on their plate. Like I'll ask clients, they'll say, Oh my gosh, I can't get anything done. I really want to X, Y, Z, and I'm not doing it. What's wrong with me? And I'll ask them, all right, well, take me through your calendar. Let's like really like get to the nitty-gritty of this. So it's not just ethereal or thought processes, this is like tangible. So tell me what your day looks like. And there's no wiggle room. And then they want to add on all of this other stuff without prioritizing or taking things away. And so I'm like, girl, yeah, of course you're overwhelmed because you literally don't have time to breathe. And so both of those things, whether you're filled to the brim with alignment, you know, I mean, that could be possible, but you still could have too much on your plate. And we really need to prioritize, take a look, or you're just doing things that don't fill your cup and don't bring you joy and you'd come home depleted. Yeah. So where do we start? I mean, maybe the answer is just the up doing the opposite of what you just said. But if we want to kind of get that spark back, we want to find like why was it that we liked doing what we were doing in the first place? Why did I start this business? Is there

Find The Spark With Small Shifts

4:55

anything I like about being a mom? Why did I take this job? Right. Like we want to get back to that space. How do we start to get there? Yeah. So, first things first is literally asking those questions. Okay, I prayed for this life at some point, you know, like this is the life I wanted. This is the career that I chose. This is the children I chose, wanted to have, right? And so, why did I want this down the road? Where did that spark originally come from? I often say my spark came when I was working at camp. I was working with inner city foster kids, and I was like, this is what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to help people know how awesome they are. And then slowly but surely, in the you know, clinical psychology days, that stark spark started to fade. And so I had to reconnect with that old spark quite a bit. Like, why am I here? Sometimes I would find a client or two or three or a group I was leading, or like a per, you know, connect it back to that purpose. This is why I'm doing it. There might be a lot of extra paperwork, there might be a lot of chaos that's happening, but this is why I'm here. And I really had to emotionally connect to why I started in the first place. The second thing I'll say is those little daily gratitudes because I think we do wait or search for the mountaintop, like finally I made it. And we know in business, in corporate, like you're never quite made it. Even when you make it, you don't necessarily feel like you made it, right? And so enjoying the journey and really um recognizing that gratitude along the way can really help. Yeah. The third thing I'll mention is like, let's actually prioritize and say, are there things that I'm doing in my business that aren't actually moving the needle that I don't really need to do? Are there things in my business that need to get done but doesn't need to be me? Like, should I start outsourcing some stuff? Should I get Opus Pro for Reels? Should I hire a VA for, you know, admin work? Like, are there some things that, although I love the mission of my business, I love what I'm doing, there's just stuff that doesn't fit my personality that I could get some help with, let go or rethink. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that totally makes sense. I think one of the things that I was thinking when you were talking about prioritizing too is I read this book a hundred years ago when I was a teacher, and it was specifically geared towards teachers, but I never forgot it. And it was talking about like looking at all the activities that you do throughout the day and designating like which ones are energy givers and which ones are energy drainers. And I still think about my life in those terms a lot. Like we go through the motions, yeah. And a lot of times we don't stop to think, like, do I actually even need to be doing this? Like, is there any point to doing this? Like the one time somebody said to me, like, why are you doing a podcast episode every week? Why don't you do every other week? And I was like, wait, what? We can just like do that, right? That's weird, you know. But things like that where we just kind of re-evaluate, like, is this something? Of course, we don't live in dreamland. So not everything is gonna be an energy giver that we love to do, right? Like nobody is like, oh my gosh, I can't wait to sit down and pay all these bills. Um, and that's life, but where can we work in more of those energy givers? And where can we get some of those energy drainers off of our plate? I think is really helpful too. I remember my husband, I was like, oh my gosh, I have all this stuff to do. I have to go for a run and I have to check this and do that and blah, blah, blah. And he goes, says who? And I was like, it's I guess says, I guess says me. I can say something different than if I really feel yeah, yeah, exactly. And and I think sometimes it's less about the activity and it's more about um, you know, maybe you do need to pay your

Joy List Priorities And Outsourcing

8:45

bills sometimes, and maybe you do want to do a podcast weekly. Um, but there could be other ways to fill your cup outside of what you're doing. So for example, in one of my programs, I we create a joy list. Like, what are the things that bring you joy? And then are you actually doing them? And they're they're not being an Oprah's favorite things. They're like walking the dog, listening to worship music in the morning, having my quiet time, drinking my cup of coffee in silence, like, oh, playing the guitar. I haven't done that in a while. So sometimes it's not about re-hauling everything, it's really just finding those moments where you can do the things that fill you back up. So then you have more energy doing the things that you kind of need to do. Yeah. How would that impact someone who is running a business or starting a business or growing a business? Because I feel like, especially in the beginning when I wasn't making money consistently, I would have heard something like this and I would have thought that sounds really lovely. And I don't have time to play the guitar. Like I gotta do stuff because I need to be making money in this business or I'm gonna have to go get a job. So how does it actually benefit us to step away from our business and do some of those things that bring us joy? Well, have you ever talked to someone that didn't have a morning routine and then then they did? And like the drastic life changes that happen when you do the work more centered, I think that's what it's all about. It's because I can message 50 people about my business, but if I have chaotic energy, if I'm, you know, kind of out of scarcity or fear or whatever, they can feel that. But if I take the 30 minutes, because we're not talking about hours, we're talking about, you know, 15, 30 minutes to do something that gets

Why Joy Boosts Business Results

10:35

you back in alignment, that fills your cup up, uh, that gives you kind of some of your sanity back. And then I do those income-producing activities, you get so much better results. When I'm messaging people from like full belief, from full excitement, from like this is the best thing since sliced bread, the energy energy behind it really does impact the outcome that I get. So I think I kind of include it as part of my workday, personal development, going for a walk, like just keeping myself full is a part of my job. Yeah, I totally agree. I it's funny, I just had that conversation with one of the members of the Powerful Women Rising community. I was doing a one-on-one coaching call with her, and she's trying to fill a program that she's launched, and she is doing way more than she's ever done before to try to fill this program marketing-wise and reaching out to people and selling and doing all the things. And so we were talking about she's like in her final push and she's only got only had one person signed up. And so we were talking about, you know, she wanted to know like, what should I be doing? Like, give me the to-do list of like who should I reach out to? Should I post here again? Should I email here again? What should I do? And we talked about those things, but I also then said, you are not allowed to do any of those things until you get out of this space. Right, right. Because I mean, any business owner who's ever launched anything knows that space of like, we're so excited about it and we do all the things, and then no one signs up and we're like, this is terrible. I hate everything. I don't know why this was a good idea. I don't even know like why I exist, right? Like, just like everything is horrible. And when you try to take those actions from the everything is horrible space, you're never gonna get the results that you want. I really in those moments, because we all have them, like that's a normal part of business. So, number one, know that that's normal. It's a normal part of the business cycle. Yes. And what I try to do in those launch moments or when those, you know, when you're second guessing everything, is I'll decide how many people I want to sign up, whether it's for network marketing or for my coaching programs. And this is what I do I write it on a piece of paper and I put a big circle around it and I put all the leads that I have, like in the circle, assuming that they're going to say yes. And then once they do say yes, I circle them. Um, but what I really work to do, and that's why this inner work and the personal development piece is so important, is keep that like vibe high and that belief strong and that vision. Like my focus is on those six, six, six, six, twenty, twenty, twenty, whatever it is. Um, because otherwise the fear will take over, the anxiety will take over, and we'll watch Netflix and eat cookie dough. Yeah. Which is a requirement sometimes. And I also like what you said too, and I think this is an important part part that I don't want to gloss over, is that it doesn't have to be like a half hour spa day. It can be I'm gonna get up out of my chair for 10 minutes and put on Taylor Swift and dance, right? Like I think we think it if we're gonna do something, it has to be like this great big thing. And it really can just be a small something that pumps us back up. Exactly. And we know the things that uh level up our mood, whether it's playing, blasting that music, whether it's, you know, dancing it out, whether it's calling your sister and being like, ah, okay, let's do it, you know. But then getting back into what you want. Um, because again, when you're working your business based on what you want, you'll get much stronger results. Yeah, absolutely. Uh, I want to ask you a little bit about, I mean, this is a gonna be a big question for the fact that this is a 25-minute podcast, but I want to talk about like our subconscious, because I know you deal a lot with this with your clients and in your work. And why are we have this idea like you were talking about in the beginning of like the dream, right? This is what we want, this is what we want our life to look like, this is what we want our business to look like, this is where we're going, and this is where we're starting. What happens in our subconscious that keeps us from getting here most often? There's a few things. Number one, um our nervous system. So our nervous system is comfortable in what's familiar, even if we don't like it. So if we say, you know, if if you think of somebody who's only been in terrible relationships and then they have someone who's peaceful, right, their nervous system goes, ah, that's so boring. And you know, and so they'll sabotage and potentially go, we don't want that for anyone. But you've seen the pattern before, right? And so our so our system has a set point based on you know years of training. And it can normal, it can feel normal to be broke, it can feel normal to hate your job and to grind it out, it can feel normal to um, you know, be so tired at the end of the day that you just don't have time for anything. So the one of the things we want to do is we want to heal our nervous system, to get out of fight or flight mode, to get out of that survival mode and into rest and digest, which is what I call the world of dreams, where you kind of in are in that alignment, where you're operating from a place of stability and security. That doesn't mean you know, I say it's the eye of the storm. It can be chaotic around you, but you don't have to be feeding the chaos. And when your nervous system is in alignment, is um within um out of fight or flight mode and into rest and digest, then you can more, you know, you have that security and that that um you

Nervous System Identity And Self Sabotage

16:20

know, you're you're more apt to do the hard thing. Um, because as you do the hard thing, as you message people or post about your business, or you know, do a YouTube video or you know, go to your BI meeting or whatever, that feels vulnerable. And our nervous system will bring us back to what we understand. So one piece of the process is shifting and healing that nervous system. The other thing is our identity. All of these I am statements that we've been saying subconsciously, just kind of in the back of our mind for decades, have created what we call automatic pathways. And so when something doesn't go our way, our automatic thought is, well, it's not gonna work anyway, or see, I told you I'm not a business person, I'm not creative, I'm not an author, I'm not whatever. And so part of what we get to do while we're taking this new action peacefully, that doesn't mean we're not scared, but it means that we work to um we work, we work to get out of the fight or flight mode in that action. Um, but we're also shifting our identity in the process. So by the time I actually hit my goals, I've been like, duh, yeah, I know for a long time because I've been speaking about it and talking about it, and I really do believe it. I believe that it's happening, I believe we're promoting, I believe the book's coming out, I believe all of that, but it's it's the intentional work along the way to shift those automatic thought patterns in the in the process. Yeah, I love that. And it kind of comes full circle to where we started talking about in the beginning of the interview. Whereas I think if you are operating from a place of safety in your nervous system, you're not always in fight or flight, you're gonna burn out a lot less quickly, right? Right. And if you are going through it believing, like, I am gonna be successful, I am growing through this, I am learning through this, I am gonna be this person that I see myself being. Your experience is gonna be very different than like it's like walking through quicksand, trying to get yourself to the end of like, I suck, nobody wants this, it's never gonna work. It's terrible, right? That's how we burn out too. Yeah, it is. It's it's both and, which is why it doesn't happen on accident. You know, nobody is like naturally wired necessarily this way. I think certainly some of us have been practicing this for a lot longer. So, you know, keeping our vision and and having these healthy habits really do make a difference, but it's all intentional. It's not, it's not an accident. You don't accidentally fall into success. These are patterns and habits you develop over time. Yeah, absolutely. You have something called a dream board kit, and you are sharing that with

Dream Board Kit And How To Connect

19:05

our listeners. Tell us a little bit about what that is. Yes. So what I find is that people will sometimes come to me and they'll say, I don't know what I want. I just know this isn't it. You know, like whatever this is, I need I'm ready for something new. Yeah. And so I created a dream board brainstorming kit with a but there's a whole clarity workbook in there. Uh, and then it has some tools for creating a dream board to help you get that spark back to ask yourself, all right, what do I really want life to look like? The thing to remember is that especially women, we're going through different transitions and seasons and our kids' age and things change, like every few years. So it's okay to say what served me years ago isn't serving me now, and I want to rethink. And so to create that space to let those new dreams bubble up to gain that clarity and excitement. So that's what the dream board kit is all about. That's awesome. I will put the link to that in the show notes so people can grab that. If they want to connect with you, they want to learn more about what you do and what you have going on. What's the best way for them to do that? Um, Facebook and Instagram, the Denise Walsh. And then I do have a podcast as well, Coaching for Coaches. And um, you can check that out on all the major podcast players. Awesome. I will link to all those things in the show notes so people can reach out to you. And thank you so much for being a guest today. It was a really helpful, it was a really helpful conversation for me, actually. Just sometimes there's even things that you already know that you just like need to hear someone else say, and then you're like, oh yeah. Mm-hmm. Right. So exactly. I assume it was helpful for the listeners, but even if it wasn't, it was helpful for me. And that's all that really matters. Well, thank you so much, Melissa, for having me. It's been a ton of fun, and I love the work that you're doing. There's a lot of people out there that have dreams but need the roadmap, and I feel like you do a great job providing that. Awesome. Thank you so much.