Balancing Authenticity and Professionalism

Can you be TRULY authentic in business and still be taken seriously?

Authenticity is a word that gets tossed around a lot in business, but how do you balance showing up as yourself while also being seen as a professional?
 
Do you have to tone down your personality to be taken seriously? Is there a point where being "too real" causes people to lose trust in you?

In this episode, we’re breaking down the fine line between showing up as your true self and maintaining the credibility and respect you want. 

We discuss:

• What authenticity really means (and what it doesn’t)
• How professionalism is about reliability, respect, and intentionality - not perfection
• The role your personal brand plays in how you show up
• How to avoid the common pitfalls of overthinking, overcompensating, or oversharing

If you've ever wrestled with the idea of how to be fully yourself in business without sabotaging your success, this episode is for you.

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Connect with Me, Your Host Melissa Snow!

Melissa Snow is a Business Relationship Strategist dedicated to empowering women in entrepreneurship. She founded the Powerful Women Rising Community, which provides female business owners with essential support and resources for business growth. Melissa's other mission is to revolutionize networking, promoting authenticity and genuine connections over sleazy sales tactics. She lives in Colorado Springs with her two dogs, three cats, and any number of foster kittens. She loves iced coffee, true crime, Taylor Swift, and buying books she’ll never read.

Instagram: https://instagram.com/powerfulwomenrising
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Chapters

• 0:04 Balancing Authenticity and Professionalism
• 6:10 Finding the Balance

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Welcome to Powerful Women Rising, a podcast for female entrepreneurs ready to do business their way. Grab your coffee and join host Melissa Snow, business relationship strategist and founder of the Powerful Women Rising community, as she interviews industry experts and shares insights on strategy, marketing, mindset and more. Here you'll find the tools, strategies and inspiration you need to feel empowered, take bold action in your business and keep rising.

Speaker 2: 0:35

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Powerful Women Rising Podcast. I'm your host, melissa Snow, and I am excited to be here with you today, on this lovely Monday morning. How is everyone doing? Are you having a great week? Do you love it when podcast hosts ask you questions like you can actually answer and you are like what am I supposed to do with this question? You can't hear my answer. I don't know why we do that. Why are we like this? I don't know. Anyway, if this is your first time tuning into the podcast, welcome. Excited to have you here.

Speaker 2: 1:07

I am a business relationship strategist. What does that mean? Well, it's something that I invented and basically it means I help people figure out how to network like humans and not like salesy weirdos. I help you actually enjoy networking. I help you actually enjoy networking, regardless of who you are, and I help you actually make networking work for you. I love it when I meet people who either hate networking or they don't think networking works, or they just think they're really bad at it. Those are my three favorite people, because there are solutions for all of those problems. There's reasons that you're feeling that way and I love helping you see a different way. So I do that, and I also run an online community called the Powerful Women Rising Community, which is a group for female entrepreneurs, and we grow our businesses together and it's super fun. So that's me. Now tell me about you. No, I'm just kidding, I wanted to go with the whole like why do I ask you a question? I can't hear the answer to theme, but if you really want to answer that question, I would love to hear the answer. You can find me over on Instagram. I hang out there a lot actually hang out on threads a lot but there's no DM option on threads, so you're gonna have to DM me on Instagram and tell me about you.

Speaker 2: 2:27

All right, let's dive into today's episode. This is a really great topic that I think I probably am going to have to do multiple parts on, because there's quite a bit to it, but I want to talk today about something that I think a lot of people struggle with when it comes to networking and just business in general, and that is the idea of balancing authenticity and professionalism. So the idea of how do you show up as your true self when you also want to come across as a professional and be taken seriously, and how do you come across as a professional and be taken seriously without feeling like you are playing a role or putting on a mask? So I want to start this episode by just asking you a couple questions, and I know you can't answer the question, so I want you to just think about the answer in your mind. When I tell you to think of someone that you know who is a true professional, or when I tell you to imagine a very professional environment, who or what comes to mind initially? And I want you to think about what the qualities are that make this person or this environment professional in your opinion. Then I want you to do the same thing with the word authenticity when I tell you to think of someone who is truly authentic. Same thing with the word authenticity when I tell you to think of someone who is truly authentic, who comes to mind and what is it about that person that makes them truly authentic to you?

Speaker 2: 3:57

And I think those are very important questions to ask yourself right off the bat, because that's going to help you combat some of the myths that your subconscious might have about what it means to be a professional, about what it means to be a professional and what it means to be authentic, because I think a lot of times we do things and think like, oh, that wasn't very professional. People must not take me seriously because I just made that joke, right. But when you think about it in terms of other people, if someone else made that joke, would you be like, oh God, she's not very professional? I mean, depending on the joke, maybe you would. But I think it helps to think of it in the context of other people, because typically we're judging ourselves a lot harder than we're judging anyone else. So think about what you see as professional and what you see is authentic, and would you say that the person you thought of who is most authentic is also professional? And would you say that the person you thought of who is most authentic is also professional? And would you say that the person that you thought of as the most professional is also authentic. And really thinking about why or why not, I think is going to be a really helpful starting point for you on this topic.

Speaker 2: 4:58

So, on that note, I want to talk a little bit about what authenticity really means and what it actually doesn't mean, because I think there's a lot of misconceptions about this too. I think authenticity is one of those words that gets thrown around a lot and we like to use it as a buzzword, but we don't often think about what that really means and what it really looks like for us. So, for purposes of this podcast, when I'm talking about authenticity, I'm talking about showing up as who you truly are. And so what does that actually mean? Well, think about the times when you feel the most comfortable, the times that you feel the most yourself, the people that you're with or the circumstances that you're in, when you feel like you don't have to censor yourself. You don't have to think about what people are going to think if you say or do something. You just are yourself. And these are probably also the times that you feel the most peace, the most calm, the most joy. That is the core of who you truly are. It's about your personality. It's about your values. It's about your opinions and your thoughts. It's about your energy. It's about your opinions and your thoughts. It's about your energy. It's about who you are when nobody is watching.

Speaker 2: 6:10

What authenticity is is honesty and consistency and being real in your interactions. What authenticity is not is oversharing, showing up with this raw truth about all of your childhood traumas. It's not about being unprepared. It's not about showing up as a hot ass mess when people are counting on you and depending on you. That is not authenticity. Authenticity is about the core of who you are, and you can still be that person while also maintaining a sense of professionalism. You can still be that person while also maintaining a sense of professionalism.

Speaker 2: 6:48

Authenticity goes beyond being open or truthful. It's really this delicate balance between sharing who you truly are and also adapting to the expectations, the unwritten rules, the professional conduct that is expected in whatever environment you're in. And obviously this is going to be different depending on what environment you're in. And obviously this is gonna be different depending on what environment you're in. But, for example, if you are a life coach, being authentic doesn't mean airing your personal struggles on a client call, even if they just happened five minutes before you got on the call. It's okay for you to share relatable stories, but your client is there to get help, not to hear about your problems and be your therapist. So authenticity in that context means showing up with integrity and being present for the people that you are connecting with.

Speaker 2: 7:34

Studies show that over 80% of individuals highly value genuineness and being able to express their true selves in a relationship, and this is often linked to deeper connection, trust and overall relationship satisfaction. That said, it is actually impossible to be 100% authentic 100% of the time. There are going to be times when the emotions that you feel are misaligned with the rules embedded in a certain situation and you're going to have to engage in some surface acting to portray more appropriate emotions for the setting. That is a normal part of life and does not make you inauthentic. Also, keeping things private does not make you inauthentic. There's a very distinct difference between those things. So I want to make sure that you're clear on that.

Speaker 2: 8:23

And then I want to talk about what professionalism really means, because I think sometimes, when we think of someone being a professional, it's this very like perfect, stiff, stick up their ass kind of thing. Right, and that's not necessarily what professionalism is, at least not the kind of professionalism that I'm interested in. It's not really about wearing a blazer if that's not your style. It's about being reliable, respectful, prepared and being intentional about how you present yourself. It's not just showing up flying by the seat of your pants and saying whatever comes out of your mind and you know being completely all over the place. Professionalism is about timing. It's about discretion. It's about knowing when to share, when to listen, when to stand firm on your values, when to accommodate other people's ideals. For instance, you can crack a joke in a meeting and still be professional, as long as it's an appropriate joke and it aligns with your personality. So professionalism really is about being able to understand the context, knowing your audience and showing up in a way that builds trust and confidence with those people, without pretending to be someone that you're not.

Speaker 2: 9:41

So let's talk about some of the ways that you can find the balance between being authentic and also being professional. The first thing, I think, is knowing your brand. Your personal brand is what helps you align authentically and professionally. So, for example, if humor is part of your brand, you can let that shine. Go ahead and be funny, but don't let it overshadow your expertise. Don't be the person who is so funny that no one realizes that you actually have something of value to say.

Speaker 2: 10:12

I was at a women's business conference once. There were about 400 women there, and one of the evenings there was a party essentially for everyone who was attending the conference, and one of my friends was she's a coach. She's a great coach and she was serving on kind of the welcome committee for this party. So she was standing outside the party she was welcoming people in. She's one of the funniest people I know and, you know, a bit ridiculous, but it's funny. And I remember somebody came up to her that night and asked her how she expected to ever be taken seriously as a coach when she acted the way that she was acting. And so I tell you this story because I think it's really relevant to this idea of authenticity and professionalism. Because, first of all, she understood the assignment, she knew where she was. She wasn't in a boardroom, she wasn't presenting a workshop, she wasn't one-on-one with a client, she was welcoming people into a party on a Friday night, right, and so a very appropriate time to be ridiculous and hilarious. The other thing about this is when you sat down and had a conversation with her one-on-one about her business, about the kinds of things that she coached on, about who she was as a person and what her expertise was, you could always see her brilliance. You could always see how smart and well-trained and well-practiced and amazingly professional she was. So it wasn't like she was just always so funny that everybody was like what does this lady even do? Like, does she even know anything other than how to be funny? So that's exactly what I'm talking about when I say know your brand and also know your audience and be able to adapt.

Speaker 2: 12:00

Being authentic doesn't mean that you can't adjust based on your audience. If you're at a formal networking event, you're probably going to tone down the more casual vibe, but that doesn't mean that you're faking it. It doesn't mean that you're pretending to be somebody that you're not. You're just respecting the context of where you're at. Another thing that I recommend when it comes to balancing the two is focusing on connection. Networking, which is really just anything that you're doing, that's connecting with another person, isn't about being the most polished person in the room. It is about forming relationships. And, honestly, being the most polished, perfect person in the room probably makes you the least approachable person in the room. So, if you want to form these genuine connections with people, show up as your authentic self, show genuine interest in other people, and you will come across both as authentic and professional. And the other thing that I recommend is practicing vulnerability with boundaries, and here's what I mean by that.

Speaker 2: 13:09

Being authentic and professional requires a balance of vulnerability and also respect for other people's boundaries. So your goal is to engage with other people without overstepping or oversharing or blurring the lines of professional boundaries. So, for example, if you meet somebody at a networking event, you agree to have coffee with them. It might be overstepping to tell them everything that you think is wrong with how they're running their business, unless maybe they've asked which I don't imagine, that they would. On the flip side, you can still show up authentically by saying something like oh man, I'm having such a rough day or do you also find it hard to stay motivated in business when you're struggling in your personal life? Right, things like that show your vulnerability, they show your human side, but they're not just you being completely unguarded and raw and open and making the other person uncomfortable. It's about sharing those insights and inviting a personal connection without compromising your professionalism or overstepping other people's boundaries.

Speaker 2: 14:13

Now there's a couple things that I want to touch on, also when it comes to things to avoid. When you're trying to balance authenticity and professionalism, that is overthinking. When you're trying to balance authenticity and professionalism, that is overthinking, overcompensating and using authenticity as an excuse. So what I mean when I talk about overthinking is if you're constantly second-guessing how you're coming across, how people are perceiving you, whether people take you seriously, if other people know that you're an imposter because you're struggling with your imposter syndrome, if you are always in your head about that and trying to control what other people are thinking and feeling about you, you are going to come across inauthentic. So the best thing that you can do is relax, trust yourself and trust that the people who are meant for you are going to be attracted to you and the people who are not meant for you are not going to be attracted to you. That's exactly how this authenticity thing works.

Speaker 2: 15:09

What I talk about when I'm talking about overcompensating is trying too hard to seem professional, which can come across as stiff and unapproachable. People want to connect with humans. They don't want to connect with robots. So don't overcompensate for whatever insecurity that you're having by trying to come across as very professional, because it's going to come across very cold and awkward and difficult to connect with. And then the last thing I mentioned was using authenticity as an excuse. So sometimes people say I'm just being authentic to justify behavior that's actually unprofessional or inappropriate right, being late to a meeting, being unprepared for a presentation, saying something shitty to somebody, that's not you being authentic, that's you being unprofessional. I think we all know those people that are like, well, I just say it how it is. Okay, yes, and also you're kind of rude, right? So being authentic is not an excuse for being rude, being unprepared or being unprofessional in some other way.

Speaker 2: 16:19

Okay, I want to give you a couple real world examples to illustrate the balance between authenticity and professionalism, because sometimes I think this can come across very abstract and it's like OK, but how does this actually play out in my life? So let's say you're at a networking event and somebody asks about your business. An authentic response is going to show your passion and your excitement and professionalism is going to mean presenting it in a clear and concise way that shows you've actually thought about your answer to this question and you know how to explain what you do and what your business is all about without being a salesy weirdo. The opposite of that would be sharing an authentic response that is about how terrible your business is, how you just got screwed over by somebody that you thought you could trust, and how your last three clients just fired you and so-and-so left you a terrible review. Right, that might be authentic, that might be how you're feeling about your business right now, but it's not a professional response. So that is the balance.

Speaker 2: 17:27

Here's another example You're sending a follow-up email after you meet somebody at a networking event. Being authentic is about adding that personal touch, referencing something that you talked to that person about, referring to where you met them or some shared interests that you discussed. Maybe it is about sending them something that is of value to them, related to something that you talked about. And making that professional means that the email is well written, it includes a clear call to action, it doesn't have a bunch of typos, it's not confusing and weird. So that is the balance between having that personal authentic touch and also making sure it's professional.

Speaker 2: 18:10

The last example I want to give you is social media, and this is a whole other can of worms that I'm not even sure I want to open right now. But authenticity might mean something like posting a behind the scenes look at your business. But being professional when you do that means making sure that that post aligns with your brand voice and your messaging. It's not a behind the scenes picture of you crying because something terrible just happened in your business. It's not a behind the scenes reel that talks about how you just had this horribly traumatic experience and now you are still trying to run your business right.

Speaker 2: 18:51

You may be able to convey those things in a way that is professional, but you want to make sure that the way that you're talking about it has a purpose and that the purpose is aligned with your brand voice and your messaging. So, as you go out into the world this week, I want you to really think about the spaces where you feel like you're showing up most authentically and the places where you feel like you're showing up most professional, and are those places the same or not? And if they're not, what is it about the places where you feel the most authentic and the places where you feel the most authentic and the places where you feel the most professional? That allows you to feel that way in those spaces, and can you incorporate some of one into the other? And I want you to keep in mind that balancing authenticity and professionalism isn't about choosing one or the other. You can and should be both at the same time, showing up as your real, imperfect self, but also as someone who values other people's time, other people's energy, other people's boundaries and other people's trust is huge. When you can master that balance, networking stops feeling like a chore and it starts feeling more like a natural extension of who you are.

Speaker 2: 20:06

If this episode resonated with you, I would love to hear your thoughts. If you have questions about like okay, but what about in this situation? I love to hear those questions because there's nothing I hate more. Well, there's a lot of things I hate more, but one thing I don't love is listening to a podcast and hearing a great idea but then also being like I don't know how that actually gets put into practice. So if you encounter a scenario where you're like was this authentic and not professional, or how could I have been more authentic in this situation while still being professional, I would love to hear those experiences. So connect with me over on Instagram, send me a contact through my website and share your favorite takeaway, share your question, or let's just connect. In the meantime, remember to network like a human and not like a salesy weirdo, because that is part of the magic of authenticity and professionalism working together. I will see you next time.

Speaker 1: 21:08

That's a wrap on this week's episode of Powerful Women Rising. Thanks for hanging out with us. If you love the podcast, make sure to subscribe, share it with a friend, write a review or buy us a coffee. Your support helps more women like you step into their power and grow their businesses in a way that feels real and true to them. Want to keep the party going? Check out the show notes for details on our next virtual speed networking event or join us in the powerful women rising community. Until next time, remember that building a business your way is the best way.