Powerful Women Rising - A Business Podcast for Female Entrepreneurs

Gratitude: The Secret Sauce in Networking and Business Relationships

• Melissa Snow - Powerful Women Rising, LLC • Episode 87

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From mental and physical health benefits to resilience and positivity, gratitude has a profound impact on people's lives. But could embracing gratitude actually change the way you do business?

In this episode, we'll explore the often-overlooked power of gratitude and how it can reshape your business relationships and fuel your success.

We'll discuss how gratitude can foster trust and strengthen connections, what keeps us from expressing our gratitude out loud and how to make it easy for others to show their gratitude to you.

You'll also learn meaningful ways to express gratitude and create a reciprocal pattern of gratitude that not only celebrates others but also creates lasting success in your business.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Powerful Women Rising, the podcast where we ditch the rulebook and build businesses with authenticity, integrity and a whole lot of fun. Join host Melissa Snow, business relationship strategist and founder of the Powerful Women Rising community, as she interviews top experts and shares candid insights on business strategy, marketing, mindset and more. Let's get real, get inspired and rise together. This is Powerful Women Rising.

Speaker 2:

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Powerful Women Rising podcast. I'm your host, melissa Snow, and I'm super excited to be back here with you all today. It's been a few weeks since I've done a solo episode, and I try to alternate them with interview episodes, but it doesn't always work out that way. Sometimes I'm just like I have literally nothing to say. I don't know what to do. That's obviously not ever true. I always have something to say, but sometimes my brain thinks I don't have anything to say. Alas, here we are. If this is your first time ever tuning in to the Powerful Women Rising podcast, welcome.

Speaker 2:

My name is Melissa. I live in Colorado Springs, colorado, with my two dogs, who don't make noise all day long until I start recording a podcast, and I currently have three cats. One is my own and two are my fosters. I have any number of fosters at any given time, but right now I only have two. I am a business strategist for female entrepreneurs and I focus on helping you have better business relationships, so I run an online community called the Powerful Women Rising Community, which is an amazing place full of networking and masterminds and supporting each other and co-working and all kinds of goodness, and I also run a virtual speed networking event every month. That is amazing. Our next one is coming up here in less than two weeks and love teaching people how to be better at networking and how to grow their business through relationships without feeling like a salesy weirdo.

Speaker 2:

So today we are talking about gratitude and networking. What do the two have to do with each other, and how is gratitude the secret sauce in your business relationships? So I am interested in talking about this topic because it's come up a lot in conversations that I've had recently, not just because of Thanksgiving, but in the context of business and how we show appreciation for our clients, for our mentors, our support people, for people who refer people to us, and so I just wanted to give you my take on it. Before we get started, let's talk about what gratitude is, because there's lots of different definitions of gratitude floating around out there, but for our purposes today, what we're really talking about is cultivating a mindset of gratitude that strengthens your connections, builds trust with people and ultimately, helps your business thrive. But we are also talking about expressing that gratitude, expressing your happiness or your appreciation to someone for something that they have done for you, so having a gratitude practice in life is great. It can be life-changing to have something like a gratitude journal or if you just meditate daily on the things that you're thankful for.

Speaker 2:

But the big thing I want you to take from today's conversation is the importance of actually expressing your gratitude. So today we're going to talk about why gratitude matters in business relationships. Specifically, we're going to talk about why we sometimes forget to show it or why we keep it to ourselves instead of expressing it. How to show gratitude in meaningful ways, how to make it easy for others to express their gratitude to you. And we're going to answer the age-old question should you pay referral fees or give gifts for referrals? I get asked this all the time, so I'm excited to talk about that one too.

Speaker 2:

By the end of this episode, I want you to feel inspired to not only express more gratitude, but to embrace it as a key part of your business strategy. All right, let's dig in. To embrace it as a key part of your business strategy. All right, let's dig in. So let's start with the basics. Why does gratitude even matter when we're talking about life in general, not just business?

Speaker 2:

There are lots of benefits of gratitude. There's actually a study that showed that the participants who wrote gratitude letters regularly displayed significantly better mental health than those who didn't. It showed that gratitude had a benefit on their physical health as well. They had better sleep, less stress, improved immunity, et cetera. Gratitude also helps us become more resilient, which Lord knows you need in the world of entrepreneurship. Gratitude helps you train your brain to look for the good in people and situations rather than focusing on everything that is wrong. If you're anything like me, you maybe need a little more of that training. Me and everyone I know loves to focus on like the one thing that didn't go right, or the person who didn't hire us, or the thing that we messed up, or that one sentence in our talk that we completely screwed up on, but we don't like to spend as much time focusing on the good things that happened, all the things that went right, and so gratitude is part of helping you get to that space, which is going to help you be more resilient. It's going to help you refocus on more positive emotions and take a more solution-oriented approach to any problems or challenges that you have.

Speaker 2:

But why is gratitude important when it comes to business specifically? Here's the deal no one builds a business alone. I actually think there's no such thing as a solopreneur. You know, if you've been listening to me for a while, I don't love those preneur words. I don't love mompreneur or babypreneur or solopreneur even. Actually, solopreneur is probably the worst one to me, because I don't believe that you can build a business alone, and so, whether you realize it or not, your success is supported by a web of people that encourage you, they cheer for you, they refer clients to you, they challenge you to grow right. That's all part of your network, and gratitude is how you acknowledge that support and show those people how much they're valued.

Speaker 2:

So, in the world of networking, showing gratitude does a few important things. First, it builds trust. When you express gratitude, people see that you don't take their efforts for granted, and it shows that you're not someone who is just about taking from other people. You're not just expecting people to give things to you with nothing in return, and I know as a former dating and relationship coach that trust is the foundation of every great relationship. So it's very hard for you to build business relationships without that trust, and gratitude is going to help you with that. Something else that gratitude does in the world of networking is. It strengthens your connections. People like to feel appreciated and they are naturally going to be drawn to the people that they feel like see them, hear them and value them. So showing gratitude is a really good way to build connections, to deepen the bonds that you already have and to improve your relationships. To deepen the bonds that you already have and to improve your relationships. And, finally, gratitude makes you more memorable. There's not a lot of it going around, and so when you are known as someone who values and acknowledges other people, people are a lot more likely to think of you when opportunities arise.

Speaker 2:

Gratitude isn't just about being nice. It's about creating a positive feedback loop that benefits you and the other person, and doing it in a way that is genuine and authentic, and maybe we even think we're really good at it, but we don't always follow through on what we intend to do, or maybe we're not as good at it as we think we are. There's a couple reasons for this. First is gratitude requires two things. It requires reflection and stillness, and those two things can be very difficult to find in our busy, overstimulated, overwhelmed entrepreneur life. When people say, what is it like being an entrepreneur? Reflection and stillness aren't the first words that come to mind. You know how it is your to-do list is a mile long and somewhere on there is sending a thank you note, but every time you sit down to work, something else always takes priority over that. So that's the first reason we're just too damn busy. The second reason is we tend to overcomplicate it or overthink it. A lot of times.

Speaker 2:

People think that gratitude has to be this big, dramatic, grand gesture in order to matter. Or we start thinking that the idea of expressing gratitude out loud is going to be cheesy or awkward or it's going to come across weird. But we're not necessarily talking about a dozen roses or a big public profession of thanks. A simple, heartfelt thank you can be just as impactful as an expensive gift or a grand gesture. And the third most common reason that we overlook gratitude is that we assume people already know. How many times have you thought they know? I appreciate them. I don't need to say it, but the truth is people don't always know. I don't need to say it, but the truth is people don't always know. And even if they do know, they never get tired of hearing it. So the big key here is that you have to be intentional about it. Gratitude isn't something that is just going to happen on its own, and it's not a nice to have. It's actually a must do when it comes to business relationships. So if it keeps ending up at the end of your to-do list, you might want to think about how to become more intentional with your gratitude. And that leads me to my next point, which is all about the best ways to show gratitude in business relationships. So we know that gratitude is important.

Speaker 2:

We know some of the reasons that we don't always express gratitude, and what do we do about it? How do we get better at expressing our gratitude? The first is about finding the things or people that you are grateful for. I know that sounds very obvious, but a lot of times it's not as obvious as it sounds and we miss opportunities to show our gratitude because we don't notice them. So if I were to ask you right now what you're grateful for, you would more than likely give me some life circumstances your home, your health, your family, your children, your business.

Speaker 2:

Right, it's easy to be grateful for those big things that are a part of our everyday life, but I'm talking about the things below the surface, the things that often go unnoticed or are easy to take for granted. Maybe it's the friend that is always there for you, even when you're telling the same story or complaining about the same thing for the 20th time. Maybe it's the person who always comments on your Facebook posts just because she knows the engagement is helpful for you. Maybe it's somebody whose podcast you always listen to and it really inspires you or keeps you going or teaches you something new. Maybe it's something kind that a you going or teaches you something new. Maybe it's something kind that a total stranger did for you. These are usually the things that make the biggest difference, but we often don't even think to express our gratitude, and usually it's because we think things like does this podcast host really care that some random person likes her show? Really care that some random person likes her show? Yes, she does. Or we think isn't it going to be weird if I tell a total stranger that what she did for me made my day? No, it's not.

Speaker 2:

Part of what inspired this episode is a note that I got in the mail the other day, which, by the way, is very exciting, because nothing good ever comes in the mail. So if you can bring yourself to become a handwritten note person. You will excite people like me. And it said this Hi, melissa, I want to thank you for being an authentic person and being vulnerable on your podcast. It never fails. When I tune in to listen, your message hits deep and makes me act and motivates me. Don't ever stop doing you. You are making a difference, at least with me". Receiving that note made all the difference in the world to me, not only because of what she said, but also knowing that she went out of her way to write this note, to find my address, to mail it. That meant so much to me, and this has happened to me a couple of times.

Speaker 2:

Not necessarily cards in the mail, but I often get to a place where I'm like I'm done with this podcast. Nobody listens to it, it's not doing any good, it's not growing my business. I don't even know why I'm bothering and inevitably, it seems, the times that I get to that point are the times that I get a random DM on Instagram or I get a note in the mail or something else like that. That's like hey, I just found your podcast. I've been binging it for the last three days. It's amazing. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2:

So don't ever assume that the podcast host is going to think that you're weird for expressing your gratitude and this goes for pretty much everyone. It doesn't have to be just this scenario. This is just the example that I'm coming up with, but it's a very simple way to express your appreciation sending a handwritten note. It just hits so much different than a text because of the effort that you know that it took the other person to do it. So here are some other ideas for simple, practical, actionable ways that you can show your appreciation. First is sending an email or, even better, a voice message. It doesn't have to be fancy, it just has to be genuine.

Speaker 2:

I always try to make sure my thank you includes two things a reflection of my emotions, how it felt for me to be on the receiving end of the thing I'm thankful for, and also an acknowledgement of the effort involved on their part, so something like I really appreciate you referring me to so-and-so. I know that there are so many other options in this space and it really means a lot to me that you trust me enough to refer your friends to me, so acknowledging like, yeah, I know there's a lot of other people that you could have sent her to, or acknowledging yeah, I know that took a bit of effort on your part and then also acknowledging how much it meant to you and why it meant that much to you. Another thing that is very simple to do, but we often don't even think about doing it, is leaving a review or a testimonial. If someone's service, their book, their podcast, whatever has made a difference to you, take a few minutes to write a glowing review on Google, on Facebook, on LinkedIn, on Apple, wherever. It's quick, it's free and it's incredibly impactful. You have no idea how much of a difference it makes. Well, maybe you do, because maybe you've been on the receiving end of it, but it makes a huge difference when someone just takes it upon themselves to leave a review without even being asked. You can also shout them out on social media, tag their business, share their posts, write a post about how much they've helped you, how great their book is, how wonderful their event was. They will appreciate it, not only because you're thanking them, but it's also really great for their visibility and we all love that. Another recommendation that I have is sharing opportunities or resources with them. Another recommendation that I have is sharing opportunities or resources with them.

Speaker 2:

So let's say, you meet Susie at a networking event and then you have a one-on-one on Zoom a week later and you chat about what each of you does where you're at in business, et cetera, et cetera. And at some point in the conversation Susie shares how much she hates social media marketing. Now fast forward a few weeks. Susie refers someone to you who ends up becoming a client. So you send her a little thank you card and you include a copy of your favorite book about social media marketing. Or maybe she shared with you during your call that she's really looking for more podcast guest opportunities. So when you send her an email to thank her for sending you that referral, you also include a link to a podcast that's looking for guests that she would be a perfect fit for.

Speaker 2:

This is awesome in several ways. One is because she knows that you actually saw her, you heard her, you listened to her and you cared enough to share this resource with her. You listened to her and you cared enough to share this resource with her. It also kind of subtly sends the message that if you scratch my back, I will scratch yours. So let's keep this going and not in a salesy weirdo like now you owe me sort of way, just in a way that shows like, listen, I've got you and you've got me. I will say your name in the rooms that you're not in and you will say my name in the rooms that I'm not in, and we will look out for each other and take care of each other. The most important thing for you to remember is, no matter how you choose to express gratitude, the gesture doesn't have to be big or expensive. You just have to actually do it, and it has to be meaningful and come from a genuine place.

Speaker 2:

All right, before we move on, let's talk about the big one, the referral fee debate. This one comes up all the time. Should you pay people every time they refer you to a client, every time they refer you to a client? This is an important part of this conversation because it is about gratitude. It is about showing someone I appreciate that you've sent me that client, and here is a token of my appreciation.

Speaker 2:

Now, sometimes I go back and forth with this because there are certain affiliate programs or referral fee programs where I feel that the referral loses some of its credibility, right Sometimes, if you are getting a big kickback from something and you are referring everyone and their mother to it. Now I'm wondering is this really a good fit for me? Or do you just refer everyone? And I'm wondering if you're really referring me to it because it's amazing and you know it will be good for me. Or are you referring me because you know you're going to get paid for it? Like, is this part of your business model? And so that's why the referral fee debate becomes controversial, because a lot of people feel like when you are getting paid for a referral, it loses some of its authenticity and it doesn't feel as genuine or as personal as it may otherwise.

Speaker 2:

But I'm talking about this not necessarily from the perspective today of the person that you are referring. I'm talking about this not necessarily from the perspective today of the person that you are referring. I'm talking from the perspective of I am the business person. You have referred someone to me. What should I do? Do I owe you something? Should I pay you something? Should I buy you a gift? What is expected of me? And the answer is there is no right or wrong answer. It is a personal decision. But what does matter, where there is a right answer, is that you acknowledge the referral.

Speaker 2:

When someone refers you, they are putting their trust in you, and that is not a small thing. Anyone who has ever referred someone to someone who completely dropped the ball or screwed that person over knows it is not a small thing for me to say to someone else you should totally hire her. She's amazing. So I want you to always acknowledge the tremendous trust that another person is putting in you, the faith that they're putting in you by referring someone to you. So, at the very least, send them a thank you message, let them know how much it meant to you and keep them updated on how it worked out. Just something like thanks for referring me to Sarah. We had a great call, I'm excited to start working with her, or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Now, if you feel like going the extra mile, you can also consider a small gift, maybe a coffee gift card, a book that you think that they'll love. You can also make a donation to a cause that you know that they care about in their name. Any of those kinds of things will work just fine without you having a structured referral fee plan. If you decide to pay a referral fee or to give a gift or to just send an email, that's great. The only part of it that is mandatory is that you are expressing your gratitude.

Speaker 2:

All right, the last part of this that I want to talk about before we wrap up is how to make it easy for other people to show gratitude to you. So let's flip the script for a second and talk about how other people are expressing their gratitude to you and what are you doing to make it easy for them. This is actually a really important one, because, although it seems like, well, that's not my responsibility, they can just be grateful to me and figure out how, because they're adults, a lot of what we know as business owners doesn't translate to normal people. A lot of what we know about, like, how much it helps if you leave a review, or if you comment and engage with my social media content, or if you share it or whatever, like, if you've never been a business owner, or maybe you're a newer business owner, you don't quite understand how amazing those kinds of things are, and so the easier we can make it for people and this is just human nature in general, right, we have very lazy brains so the easier we can make it for people to express their gratitude to us, the better. This is exactly why, when you wrap up with a client, part of your off-boarding process should be If you had a great experience, can you leave a review here here? Here here's the links right Make it as easy as possible for them to express their gratitude to you.

Speaker 2:

This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately, because I've been going back and forth for a while with raising the price of the virtual speed networking events, because they are freaking amazing and I've been doing them for over a year. I know that people come and get a lot of value from it. I know they've made amazing connections. I know they've gotten clients from it. I know they've found new opportunities from it. I know the value of it, and yet the price is still $5. And I really want to leave it at $5, because it was never intended to be a money-making thing. It was only ever intended to at $5. Because it was never intended to be a money-making thing. It was only ever intended to be $5. That will actually ensure that more than half the people show up and also keeps the salesy weirdos away the people who are just signing up so they can get the list of people's contact information.

Speaker 2:

And so what I finally settled on was to add a Buy Me a Coffee link. So what I finally settled on was to add a buy me a coffee link. If you guys are familiar with this website, buy me a coffee. It creates a link for you, it creates a QR code and people can quote unquote buy you a coffee, a virtual coffee. It's $5. They can buy you 10 coffees if they want to, or they can just buy you one coffee.

Speaker 2:

And the reason I decided to add this to my social media content, to my podcast show notes and share it when I do the virtual speed networking events, is because I know that there are people who listen to every single episode of the podcast, love it, get great value from it. I know that there are people who have come to almost every virtual speed networking event I've done, have made amazing connections, have gotten clients, have gotten great value from it, and the only way those people are ever going to become my clients or express their gratitude with money would be joining the Powerful Women Rising community. That's my only offer and that's not a perfect fit for everybody, and so I wanted there to be an easy way for people to express their gratitude Like, hey, this podcast really helped me. This really inspired me. I really appreciated it. I love these events. I made some really good connections. Here's $5 to go buy yourself a coffee right, making it very simple for people to show their appreciation.

Speaker 2:

The other thing I recommend is letting people know what is most helpful to you. So if reviews or testimonials are the best ways to support your business, you can say that. You can ask people to leave you reviews. You can ask people to share a testimonial. You can ask people to share your social media content or share an event that you've got coming up right. People, for the most part, want to help, but they need guidance on how to do that. They need you often to spell it out specifically for them. Here is how you can show your appreciation to me. And then the last thing I'll say is be specific about what you offer. I've talked about this in many, many a podcast. When people know exactly how you help other people, they are more likely to refer you or to shout you out. So make sure people understand who you are, what you do, who you help and sometimes, more importantly, who you don't help and what you don't do right. That also helps people to know how to refer you and the easiest way and the best way to do that to the right people. The bottom line is making it easy for other people to express their gratitude to you not only helps you, but it also encourages them to stay connected to you, to your work and to what you've got going on in your world. So bottom line is this Gratitude isn't a one-time thing, it's a practice, it's a mindset, it's something that you have to be intentional about and really work into your daily life.

Speaker 2:

As a business owner, I recommend if this is new to you, setting a gratitude reminder or putting it on your calendar that just once a week, you take 15 minutes to send thank you notes or messages to people who have supported you that week. I also recommend spending time thanking the people who helped you get there, when you hit a big milestone or when you have a big success, taking the spotlight off of yourself and acknowledging these are the people who helped me get to this point. Yes, it was me, I did the work. I'm amazing because you are, and also thank you to these people who helped me.

Speaker 2:

As women, we are often taught to downplay our successes or feel awkward about receiving help or even appreciation. Gratitude is the thing that helps bridge that gap. It lets us acknowledge the support that we've received while also lifting other people up. When you show gratitude in your business, you're not just strengthening your relationships, but you're also creating a foundation for long-term success. You want to do business with you, want to be referral partners with you, want people in your support system who also express gratitude, and you, by doing so, are inspiring other people to do the same. So there you have it Gratitude, the game changer for your business relationships. Send a thank you note, leave a review, simply say I appreciate you. All those small actions are going to create big results in your business relationships.

Speaker 2:

And hey, you want to express gratitude for this podcast? You know where to find my. Buy me a coffee link. Thank you so much for tuning in. Definitely join me on Instagram. I'm going to be doing some gratitude practices over there this week and you can follow along and do your own too. They'll be super fun and I'm pretty sure they're going to help boost your engagement and your follows. Okay, I never know how to end these podcast episodes. It's like when I run a meeting in person. I always feel like I'm just going to like bow at the end or something Like. I don't know how to wrap it up, so I asked chat GPT how should I end this podcast episode? Are you guys ready for this? It's beautiful. Here we go. Thanks for tuning in, friends. Until next time. Remember networking with gratitude isn't just good for business, it's how we rise together. Ta-da.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for listening to Powerful Women Rising. We hope today's episode inspired you to keep we rise together. Ta-da in the show notes to get your free list of top virtual networking events for female entrepreneurs. It's time to make real connections and grow your business with integrity and authenticity. Until next time, keep rising and stay powerful.

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Melissa Snow

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